Adrienne banned me from painting of any kind.  Since nobody was helping me in the kitchen, there were a lot of places where I put down too much paint, and it dripped and there were thick spots and other nasties.  It really looked pretty terrible.  They've sanded down the drips and will put another coat of paint on tomorrow.

Meanwhile, Erin and I redeemed ourselves by doing a fabulous job of painting her room.  I have to say, using the power roller properly takes some practice.

We emptied out the storage unit (mostly) and also brought over a truckload of stuff from the garage.  We ended up unpacking quite a bit of the stuff we brought, and Emily was very excited about seeing her toys again - many of which she hadn't seen since we started showing the house in April.

One of our neighbors was kind enough to bring us some muffins today to welcome us to the neighborhood.  Pearson Farms is a much nicer neighborhood than Hollands Crossing.

I have the pleasure of going to work tomorrow, and then going to a conference in DC the rest of the week (CFUNITED - a Coldfusion programmers conference).  By the time I get back on Saturday, maybe all the nasty work will be done ;)

We finished removing the border in the kitchen, laid down one coat of primer, and then painted the kitchen and the laundry room "Harvest Wheat".  It looks really nice.  We're not quite done yet - haven't painted above the cabinets or anywhere near the ceiling - but it's MUCH nicer than the mauve that was in there before.

In order to paint the laundry room, I decided I wanted to take down the wire shelving that was in there.  When they were installed, they were installed with drywall mollies and drywall nails.  In otherwords, these shelves were not meant to be taken down.  I ripped them out of the wall.  I think we're gonna put cabinets in the laundry anyway.

Adrienne and Jan finished painting Emily's room - it's an incredibly bright "Enchanted Princess" pink - a Disney color.  They also cleaned out some of the weeds from the landscaped areas in front.

The former owners of this house had a curious way of dealing with "stuff"... we found several sprinklers, a tiki tourch, and an old potted plant under the deck, and numerous items in the landscaping in the front and on the side.  They just dumped their house plants in the landscaped areas, which are pretty poorly taken care of.  We're going to do a lot of plant removal and then bring in some mulch!

Tomorrow I think we may only work a half day.  We're gonna finish painting in the kitchen, and get all the stuff out of the storage unit and bring it over to the house.  And I think we're gonna spend some time either at the pool or at the lake.  Not sure which.

We got our closing numbers on Thursday but I didn't get my direct deposit until Thursday night, so I had to go to the credit union this morning to get the funds required at our 10:30 closing on our new house.  So I get up early and head to the bank, which opens at 8.  Unfortunately, I get there and the lobby doesn't open until 9, so I hit the drive thru.  They won't give me a cashier's check in the drive thru, so I just take out cash, and head back home.

We did our walk-through at 10 o'clock.  Mr. Bond was there and seemed like a nice fellow.  Looked like he did a good job making the repairs that we asked for, so we headed over to the lawyers office and closed the transaction.

We now own two houses, which is kinda scary, but the old house will be sold in a couple weeks (it's under contract to a nice lady from Connecticut).

I spent many hours removing wallpaper borders (they are evil, I tell you!), and some time this evening painting Emily's room pink.  I've banned Erin and I from doing any further painting, it was a disaster.  The wall looks good, but we made a mess, I got paint on the ceiling, Erin got paint on the floor, and I broke the stopper in the sink.  I think I'll let Adrienne finish the painting.

Tomorrow - lots more painting (Emily's room, the kitchen, the guest room, and the master bathroom are the big to do items).  More border removal.  Possibly some yard work.

Have you got time to waste?  Check out these online games:

• Mah-Jongg - The Classic Chinese Tile Game
• Frogger - Remember the Atari 2600!
• Mini-Putt - Really cool Putt-Putt Mini-Golf game!
• Tetris - My personal favorite, this is the classic Russian puzzle game.
• Minesweeper - Thank you, Microsoft!

So I was reading The Onion today and checked out the "Savage Love" advice column, which I do from time to time because it generally amuses me.

They were publishing letters from adult gays and lesbians giving advice to young gays and lesbians, and I found the following letter interesting:

SPECIAL NOTE:  Continue reading at your own risk!  It's PG-13, but if you are my parents, you might find the following a little disturbing!

So someone mentioned something about the Live8 Concert to me the other day. I had no idea what they were talking about, but they said Pink Floyd was playing.

I'd been to www.PinkFloyd.com as recently as a couple weeks ago (which prompted me to buy Nick Mason's new book Inside Out: A Personal History of Pink Floyd) and there was nothing on the site about any tour dates. But I went there again to check, and sure enough, not only is Pink Floyd playing at one of the Live8 venues, but Roger Waters will be a part of it!

Wow. By most accounts, Roger Waters and David Gilmore have not even been on speaking terms.

David Gilmore said:

Only in Michigan would this be "news".  I find it pretty damn funny, even as a big UofM football fan.

U-M Grads Feeling Blue Over Zoo Wolverines' Names

ROYAL OAK, Mich. - The Detroit Zoo has been badgered for the naming of a pair of wolverines. The complaints came from University of Michigan alums who were apparently upset that the wolverines were named Sparty and Bucky, which are the names of the mascots of two of U of M's biggest sports rivals, Michigan State and Ohio State.

And it turned out that the pair was given their namesake by a zoologist who happened to be a graduate of MSU.

For those of you that enjoyed the "I Like You" cartoon... I've got another one to share.  This one is rated R for adult language, even though it's based on a children's song.

I present to you... Bananaphone

In a press conference prior to the start of the 2005 U.S. Open, Lefty (Phil Mickelson) thinks the winning score at this year's US Open at Pinehurst will be +8.  Wow!

Of course, since Pinehurst is only about an hour from here, I'm being inundated with constant Open coverage, so I also heard some of Tiger's press conference yesterday, where he got a little testy when he was asked how he feels about what people are writing about him.

PROGRESS ANNOUNCED IN SCURVY RESEARCH

"Cure just around the corner"

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Scientists from the National Scurvy Institute (NSI) recently convened a 5 day seminar to assess progress in the War on Scurvy.

The future looks bright and a cure is just around the corner announced a spokesman at the seminar. Over the past 30 years NSI, NIH (National Institute of Health) and ASS (American Scurvy Society) have spent over $30 billion on scurvy research. Pharmaceutical companies have over 80 new drugs in development to combat scurvy according to the FDA.

The 5 year survival rate after diagnosis of scurvy is over 50% up from 30% just 20 years ago although 500,000 Americans continue to die of the disease each year.

President Bush has proposed a 10% increase in NSI's budget for fiscal year 2006. NSI kicked off its annual "Race for the Cure" campaign to raise additional funds for research last month.

Risk factors for scurvy include cigarette smoking, diets high in saturated fat and long ocean voyages. Sailors are particularly at risk for the disease. A researcher at the University of Washington has speculated that there may be a substance in sea water that triggers the disease. Of course much more research is needed.

Researchers at the University of Maryland, working on the human genome project, have identified a "Scurvy gene" From this it may be possible to develop a test to identify individuals at risk for the disease.

Scurvy doctors have long emphasized the importance of frequent screenings for scurvy in at-risk individuals. The disease can be effectively treated if detected early enough. Men and women over 40 should get regular checkups.

Conventional treatments for scurvy include frequent gum cleanings to combat the bleeding associated with the disease, surgical amputation of atrophied limbs that have been ravaged by the disease, and stimulants to combat the lassitude characteristic of the disease.

A pilot research program has been proposed to NSI that would study a possible connection between vitamin C and scurvy. A study conducted on 20,000 Americans at the University of Florida showed a substantially higher rate of scurvy in people who don't eat fruits and vegetables. Dr. Henry Jacobson, assistant director of NSI, was quick to point out that no such connection has ever been scientifically proven. Vitamin C as a treatment for scurvy remains on NSI's "unproven remedies" list. Clinical trials conducted in the 70's showed no effect of vitamin C on scurvy, added an NSI spokesman.

In related news, officials at the American Pellagra Society (APS) have designated the month of May as "Pellagra Awareness Month"...

Archived here in case the original web site disappears, as often happens with things like this...

GROSS - these are disgusting titles that should turn you off completely

THE ANAL GIRLS OF TOBACCO ROAD 2 : VAGINA SLIMES - The title that started me on this list. "Virginia Slims" becomes "Vagina Slimes" ? That's disgusting ! You get the idea.

LET'S PLAY STAIN THE COUCH - And then invite all our friends over and watch them try to guess what that smell is !

CRACK WHORES OF AMERICA - Because nothing turns a guy on more than needle tracks and missing teeth ...

PRIME CUTS: YO QUIERO TACO SMELL - I know when I get down there, I want to smell refried beans !

AMATEURS ONLY #129": I'M A BROWN SHIT-HOLED WHORE - Some people like poo, so maybe I shouldn't have included this one. What can I say, it just has a certain poetry to it.

SEX STARVED FUCK SLUTS #22: STINKY WHITE WOMEN - Why would you want to have sex with somebody who is stinky ? You are a puzzle, sir.

GROAN - bad puns, horrible plays on words, stupid Hollywood movie name adaptations

DUDE, WHERE'S MY DILDO ? - Bad movie, probably a bad porno based on a bad movie.

ULTRA KINKY #79: BOWLIN' IN HER COLON - Bowling balls and colons, such a pretty image.

ASS-HOLE O MIO - You've got to be kidding.

HOMEGROWN VIDEO #489 : FUCK THE CANUCK - Trouble rhyming "bitch" today ?

BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE VAGINA - Kurt Russell should be so lucky ...

GOOD ASSTERNOON - I want to see a porno with really amazing dialogue. This won't be it.

BACKDOOR ADVENTURES OF BUTTHEAD AND BEAVER - Too obvious.

HINDFELD - A porno about nothing.

TEA BAGGER VANCE - Did anybody see the original movie ? Yeah, whatever.

MUSIC TO FUCK TO: ONCE, TWICE, THREE TIMES A LABIA - I would watch this if they actually got Lionel Richie to sing the new lyrics with a close-up shot of him crying.

GERANALMO - Sure, why not ?

BRASSIERE TO ETERNITY - You're reaching ...

TIG OL' BITTIES - Spoonerisms can be fun. Sometimes not.

MOULIN SPLOOGE - You saw this one coming ...

TITS OF FURY - ... but not this one ...

GERMAN WHORE FARE - Well, I groaned ...

SHE'S NOT A LESBIAN ... SHE'S A VAGITARIAN - Sigh ...

TOOKIE RAIDER - Tookie ? Tookie ??? You're just making up words now.

MUFFUGNUGEN - That's just lame, man.

PRIME CUTS: ONE FELL INTO THE POO-POO'S NEST - You went to college for this ?

FILTHY FUCKERS #184: POKE 'ER MON - Who exactly is your target audience ?

RIMMERAMA - It does kind of roll off the tongue, though.

HOOTERS AND THE BLOWJOBS - Sometimes the music in porn movies is kind of interesting. Not this time.

HUNG WANKENSTEIN - Two, count 'em, TWO bad puns in one title ! I want this job !

STUPID - poorly chosen titles for various reasons

SEX - This is so wonderfully descriptive, there are TWO movies with this title.

THE SPLENDOR OF HELL - Nothing gets me going more than the thought of the sin I am committing at the time and the eventual suffering I am bringing upon myself.

COCKLESS 19 - All-girl videos are okay if not kinda dull, but I get a sort of castration vibe from this one ...

WET AND FROSTY - Are you talking about sex or beer ?

WHY THINGS BURN - It's called a venereal disease ...

AMATEURS ONLY #131: HOW MUCH LONGER IS THIS GOING TO TAKE - Guys love it when girls ask that question.

BABY GIRL - A big disappointment for pedophiles.

ANAL CHIROPRACTOR - What, in case your ass is out of alignment ? Yeesh.

HUSH ! MY MOTHER MIGHT HEAR US ! - More of a turn-off for women viewers ...

S.I.D.S.: SEXUALLY INTRUSIVE DYSFUNCTIONAL SOCIETY - Not Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, which always gets me hot.

PRICE IS RIGHT - "Hey, let's name our new porn movie after a game show whose host wants to neuter your family dog !"

SNOW WHITE AND THE THREE DWARFS - You're only calling attention to the fact that you're ripping us off to the tune of four dwarves.

ABS OF CUM - That doesn't make any sense.

DEAD MEN DON'T WEAR RUBBERS - You could get AIDS and DIE !!!

SEX IN THE COMICS - This one actually looks pretty interesting. It's porn stars made up to look like cartoon characters having sex. Normal people probably don't want to see this, though ...

TOPLESS BRAIN SURGEONS - No, I want you concentrating on my BRAIN during the operation ...

YOUR QUIM IS MY GYM - Stupid, nonsensical, you are an object to be scorned.

THEORY OF RELATIVITY - That Einstein, what a hottie.

FELANALINGUS - "I made up a new word !" "Wow ! Let's hope it catches on !"

K-FCK ... THE ONLY THING MISSING IS YOU ! - A five year old retard might think that was funny or clever, but only out of pity.

BRIANNA LEE'S RED HOT WEINIE ROAST - Nobody is roasting my weinie. Go away.

UNBALANCED CHEMICALS - Psychotics can be sexy too !

STRAIGHT A STUDENTS - Why would I want to watch a porn movie where nobody gets to have sex ?

LET'S PLAY ANAL TWISTER - That sounds somewhat painful. I'm glad you're not my friend.

TUG BOAT - "Hello ? We make porno movies here. P-O-R-N-O. Do you understand ?"

HEROIN - In answer to the question, what is wrong with the lead actress ?

HAMLET : FOR THE LOVE OF OPHELIA #1 - Your average porn movie consumer will have no idea what this is a reference to.

ACID SEX - It burns ! It burns !

ADULT MOVIE (A.K.A. PORN MOVIE) - Whew, thank goodness. I didn't know what this was. I'm glad that's all cleared up.

RI DICK U LOUS: CHOCOLATE CAN HARDLY HANDLE IT ! - When you named this movie, you were contemplating suicide, weren't you ? You should.

FAT THE BALD AND THE UGLY - Well, at least they're accessible ...

SANDWICH OF LOVE - Nobody ever got laid using this phrase. It's just not possible there's a woman this stupid out there.

PERVERTED ADVENTURES OF SUPER DAVE #1 - It's a different Dave, not Super Dave Osbourne. But that's who you're thinking about right now, aren't you ? And is it turning you on ? Huh ?

AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A FLEA - Yay ! My girlfriend is infested with tiny mites ! I am so happy !

FRYSTIX - Who approved this ? Some porn producer who needed a tax shelter, that's who.

ALL ANAL ON THE WESTERN FRONT - Not a good pun, not even a bad pun.

HITLER SUCKS - Next time you have sex, when you're close to cumming, think of the Holocaust. Oh yeah, that's it.

MASK - Not the movie with Cher and that weird-looking kid. But it might as well be.

SKID ROW - Which mental image is worse, the worst section of town with all the drug dealers and hookers, or the band ?

ANAL FIREBALL - Oh, ouch.

WHAT THE HELL ... ? - No clue, no idea, no sale

AIRTIGHT GRANNY - What is an airtight granny ? Why is she airtight ? Is that a good thing or a bad thing ? I don't want to know !

SECRETARIA EJECUTIVA #1: BROAD OF DIRECTORS - Ejecu-what ?

SHRIMPIN' LOBSTER SAUCE - What does going to Sizzler have to do with porn ?

A HORSE'S TAIL - It's not a bestiality video. If it was, it would be a good title. But it's not.

E-THREE THE EXTRA TESTICLE - There is SO much wrong with this one ...

SIRLOIN TITS - What were you thinking ? I'll bet there's an A-1 Sauce joke in there somewhere.

BIG AS THIS BOX #1 - What exactly is "big as this box" ? And is it the same rough shape ... ?

TITALLICA: MASTER OF PUPPIES - Puppies ? Puppies ?!!

MEAT LOAF: TV DINNER BOX BIG, HUGE, MEATY COCKS - And I am out of the porn store like a bat out of hell ...

ONION PLANET - I have no idea what this means. Something to do with onions, perhaps. And a planet.

WHITE MEN CAN'T IRON ON BUTT ROW - Can't ... iron ? What about folding shirts ? Can white men do that ?

SUPER DRIPPING WET SERIES #3: CARNAL CASSEROLE - Yum, reminds me of mom's !

KID VEGAS WATCH ME CAMP BITCH ! - This one's actually about going camping. If I were a woman, yes, you would have to threaten me to get me to watch you camp.

THE PORN STORE CLERK LAUGHED AT ME - titles that are so stupidly funny, you can't stop laughing and enjoy the movie

CLIMAX SHOTS #70: MY BROWN EYE, NOT THE WINKER, THE STINKER - Rhyming is fun. Hey, what rhymes with "loser" ?

BUMPIN DONUTS - Uh, which body part is the donut again ?

H.R. MUFF N' STUFF - Confusing childhood, was it ?

AMBER THE LESBIAN QUEEFER - "Queefer" is just a funny word.

MAY THE FORESKIN BE WITH YOU - Geek ! *cough cough*

RED HOT CHO CHOS - I don't know what it means, but I heard some other kid on the playground use it ...

WILLIE WANKER AND THE FUDGE PACKING FACTORY - Your fantasy life is sad.

PRETTY LIL' SISTAS #1: BEAUTIFUL BLACK POPOZUDAS ! - Nobody talks like this. Nobody. I hope.

BEEPING MISS BUFFY - Coyote's after you ...

BACKDOOR LAMBADA - A taste for bad porn and horrifically out of date. Why hasn't some woman snapped you up yet ?

WALL TO WALL #24: HELLO TITTY - "Good evening, sir. Ah, I see you have the erotic tastes of a young Japanese girl !"

ACAPULCO #1: MALIBOOBIES - Hooters ! Headlights ! Ta-ta's ! Grow the fuck up !

BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE ULTRA MILKMAIDS - Oh, let me guess -- this is an art film ?

AFRO-CENTRIX #36: PUMPIN' THE PO-PO - Don't even try to tell me that's ebonics ...

WHAT'S THE LESBIAN DOING IN MY PIRATE MOVIE ? - She's trying to earn enough to feed her crack habit.

LUSTY LIFE #89: SLIDE YOUR LONG LOAF IN MY HOT OVEN - What ... what is wrong with you ?

ADVENTURES OF THE FART BITCHES - Ha ha ha ha Fart Bitches.

Okay, I've been golfing for 20 years.  I was even on a league one year and won first place.  Admittedly, it was primarily due to my handicap, but hey!  I got a trophy!

I don't get out much to golf these days, mostly because it's expensive and time-consuming.  And my Best Disease makes watching and finding my ball somewhat difficult.  But I still enjoy the game.

Recently, I decided to give up on my 17 year old set of Palm Springs Gravity Balance drivers that my grandma built for me in 1988.  They had steel shafts, were quite a bit heavier than current clubs, had much smaller club heads, and were built for my 15 year old height.

I picked up a nice set of Purespin titanium drivers - 1, 3, and 5 - on eBay for a total of $50, inclusive of shipping.  They've got graphite shafts, they're quite a bit lighter than my old clubs, and the club heads are bigger.  They're also about 2 inches longer.  Longer shaft, bigger head...  yes, I *AM* talking about golf clubs.

I

I'd like to extend my congratulations to Eric Gonzalez of Cochise County Community College.  Gonzalez, a 6'4" right handed pitcher born in Teuezife, Spain, was drafted in the 2005 Major League Baseball Draft with the 1498th and LAST pick, by the Atlanta Braves.

Gonzalez was selected to the First Team 2005 ACCAC Baseball All Conference Team.

He was also drafted in round 50 by the Braves in the 2004 MLB Draft.

So, you're on your way to Japan, China, England, Australia, or some other non-US destination, and it's a long flight.  You bring a book, a magazine or two, maybe your iPod.

You've got your laptop, so maybe you'll watch a DVD or something.

Well, United Airlines has just gotten regulatory approval to offer WiFi service on their planes.  You'll be able to surf the net from 40,000 feet.  But it's probably gonna cost ya.

The article linked below mentions a european airline that offers similar service for a flat fee of $30 per flight or $10 for a half hour.

Personally, I'm not that desperate.  Sleeping is cheaper.

http://www.usatoday.com/tech/wireless/2005-06-06-united-wi-fi_x.htm

Here's what Hermann Goering, the Nazi Reichsmarshall and Luftwaffe-Chief, had to say about war.

His comments made to Gustave Gilbert, a German-speaking intelligence officer and psychologist who was granted free access by the Allies to all the prisoners held in the Nuremberg jail.

They got around to the subject of war again and Gilbert said that, contrary to his attitude, he did not think that the common people are very thankful for leaders who bring them war and destruction.

"Why, of course, the people don't want war," Goering shrugged. "Why would some poor slob on a farm want to risk his life in a war when the best that he can get out of it is to come back to his farm in one piece. Naturally, the common people don't want war; neither in Russia nor in England nor in America, nor for that matter in Germany. That is understood. But, after all, it is the leaders of the country who determine the policy and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy or a fascist dictatorship or a Parliament or a Communist dictatorship."

"There is one difference," Gilbert pointed out. "In a democracy the people have some say in the matter through their elected representatives, and in the United States only Congress can declare wars."

"Oh, that is all well and good, but, voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same way in any country."

Editorial comment:  Goodness that last paragraph seems to apply an awful lot to the war in Iraq and the Republican Party, doesn't it?

I am personally thankful for those willing to serve this country with their lives. That includes all vets, both during war and peace. Even my wife, whose active duty station in the Navy was at Pearl Harbor, fixing gauges and such.

The following is a partial list of the American service men and women who have given their life in service to this country in the war in Iraq.

The war in Iraq is not one that I agree with, but that doesn't lessen the sacrifice that these people, and their families, have made.

911 dispatcher reprimanded for wisecrack.

Did y'all here about this one?  Some busybody mom comes home from work one day to find that her two teenage daughters had been fighting.  One of them kicked a hole in the wall.  They weren't fighting anymore.  There was no blood, or anything like that.  I think she just wanted to scare her kids.

So she calls 911.

Yes, the emergency hot line.  When you're being robbed, or your house is on fire, or someone has had a heart attack, you call 911.

Anyway, the 911 operator listens to her story, and in a complete deadpan voice, says:

So, do you want us to come out and shoot her?

Apparently, the busybody mother was not pleased, and she railed into the guy and complained to his supervisors.  So the manager reprimands him and lets the entire group know that if anything like that ever happens again, whoever does it will be fired.

But we all know behind the scenes, they're all laughing their asses off.