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29 September 2005

Michigan vs. Michigan State

Which one are you?

A first grade teacher in Michigan explained to her class that she was a Spartan Fan.

She asked her students to raise their hands if they were Spartan fans too.

Not really knowing what a Spartan was, but wanting to be liked by their teacher, their hands all flew into the air.

However, there was one exception. A little boy named Timmy was not going along with the crowd.

The teacher asked him why he had decided to be different. "Because I am not a Spartan." said Timmy.

"Then," asked the teacher, "What are you?" Timmy replied proudly, "I am a Michigan fan!"

The teacher, a dedicated Spartan, was a little perturbed now as her face turned slightly red.

She asked Timmy why he was a Michigan fan. "Well, my Mom and Dad are Michigan fans, so I'm a Michigan fan, too," Timmy responded.

The teacher got very angry. "That's no reason," she said loudly. "What if your Mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot?

Timmy smiled and said, "Then, I'd be a Spartan Fan."
Posted by rickroot at 10:27 AM | Link | 3 comments
22 September 2005

How to best serve your country

George W. Bush seeks advice from former Presidents

One night, George W. Bush is tossing restlessly in his White House bed. He awakens to see George Washington standing by him.

Bush asks him, "George, what is the best thing I can do to help the country?" "Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did", Washington advises, and then fades away.

The next night Bush is astir again, and sees the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moving through the darkened bedroom.

Bush calls out, "Tom, please! What is the best thing I can do to help the country?" "Respect the Constitution as I did", Jefferson advises, and dims from sight.

The third night sleep is still not in the cards for Bush. He awakens to see the ghost of FDR hovering over his bed.

Bush whispers, "Franklin, what is the best thing I can do for the country?" "Help the less fortunate just as I did", FDR replies and fades into the mist.

Bush isn't sleeping at all the fourth night, when he sees another figure moving in the shadows. It is the ghost of Abraham Lincoln.

Bush pleads, "Abe, what is the best thing I can do right now to help the country?"

Lincoln replies "Go see a play."

Posted by rickroot at 9:55 AM | Link | 1 comment
21 September 2005

I won the lottery!

Hey look, I won the lottery!

website www.luckyday.nl
REF: MLI/231-ILGI0432/04
We are pleased to inform you of the result of the Lottery Winners International programs held on the 20th of Sept. 2005. Your e-mail address attached to ticket number 20511465697-62955 with serial number 472-971106 drew lucky numbers 8-66-97-22-71-59 which consequently won in the 2nd category, you have therefore been approved for a lump sum pay out of  €1,000,000.00  (One Million Euro)
Due to mix up of some numbers and names, we ask that you keep your winning information very confidential till your claims has been processed and your prize/money Remitted to you. This is part of our security protocol to avoid double claiming and unwarranted abuse of this program by some participants. All participants were selected through a computer ballot system drawn from over 200,000,000 company and 300,000,000 individual email addresses and names from all over the world. This promotional program takes place annually. We hope with part of your winning you will take part in our next year €5,000,000.00 (Five million Euro) international lottery award.
To file for your claim, please contact our/your fiducial agent
TEL: +39-340-911-6212.
Email: contcconsultancy@netscape.net
Note that all winning must be claimed not later than  17th of Oct. 2005. After this date all unclaimed, funds will be included in the next stake. Please note in order to avoid unnecessary delays and complications please remember to quote your reference number and batch numbers in all correspondence. Furthermore, should there be any change of address do inform our agent as soon as possible.
Congratulations once more from our members of staff and thank you for being part of our promotional  program.
Note: Anybody under the age of 18 is automatically disqualified.
Sincerely yours,
Mrs. Helen Van Colle
Lottery Coordinator.  
Posted by rickroot at 11:05 AM | Link | 6 comments
19 September 2005

Hockey is back, and so are the fans!

Well, at least one fan is back!

The Carolina Hurricanes opened their pre-season with two exhibition games this weekend.  Friday they defeated the Washington Crapitols 6-0 in both an impressive offensive performance and an impressive defensive performance.  Sunday, they lost to Florida 5-4 in an overtime shootout.  Sunday's game was free (admission and parking) so attendance at that game doesn't really count, but Friday's game was well attended for a pre-season game - announced attendance was 12,100 - though some season ticket holders probably didn't show up.

I called in today and ponied up for a 24 game "mini-plan" in the upper level corner seats, so I'm planning to attend a lot of games again this year.

I should mention that I also took Emily to the game on Sunday, and she really enjoyed it.  At least, the two periods that we stayed for!

Posted by rickroot at 6:56 PM | Link | 1 comment

is Galveston the next New Orleans?

We all know that New Orleans was extremely vulnerable to the kind of catastrophe that occurred when Hurricane Katrina came ashore a few weeks ago.  Now that New Orleans is slowly recovering (I heard at least one bar on Bourbon Street was open), let's make sure we don't forget that the hurricane season peaks on September 15.  We're barely over half way through!

Now it looks like Tropical Storm Rita - which is expected to increase in strength rapidly as it approaches the Florida Keys - is going to make a path through the Gulf of Mexico and make landfall somewhere on the coast of Texas.

Forecasts 5 days out of course are not particularly accurate, but the center of the national hurricane center's current forecast track takes Rita on shore just south of Galveston.

The Weather Channel web site has a list of vulnerable cities, one of which is Galveston.  Galveston is the site of the worst natural disaster in U.S. history - at least in terms of lives lost.  A category 4 hurricane roared ashore there in 1900 and over 20,000 people lost their lives.

Here's hoping we don't see anything like Katrina again in our lifetimes.

Posted by rickroot at 6:52 PM | Link | 1 comment