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23 May 2006

How To Be A Good Republican

My friend sent this to me... I don't think he's a good republican!

. . .

Here are a few of my observations on ways to be a good REPUBLICAN:

  • You have to believe that Fox News is "fair and balanced."
  • You have to believe that Paris Hilton shouldn't pay a penny in estate taxes.
  • You have to believe that any sort of taxes are things that only the poor and middle class should pay.
  • You have to ignore science (evolution, stem cell research, global warming, etc.).
  • You have to believe in theocracy (but only if it's YOUR religion in power, of course).
  • You have to believe that criminal drug abusers belong UNDER the jail unless they're rich, bombastic, conservative talk show hosts.
  • You have to SAY you're against big government but then grow it to benefit fellow Republicans.
  • You have to believe that George Bush is intelligent, is always truthful, is a "uniter not a divider" and is a compassionate conservative.
  • You have to be pro-life for other people's children BEFORE they're born but not help provide for the needy ones AFTER they're born and, of course KILL them all (this is pro-life?) if they break laws as adults.
  • You have to believe that raising the minimum wage causes unemployment.
  • You have to believe that since YOU can afford health care, everyone else should have to entirely pay for their own. Let them get rich!

To sum up, you have to believe completely in the New Testament (except of course where it says we should love our neighbors as ourselves, feed the hungry, clothe the naked, and do unto others (even Iraq and Iran) as we would have others do unto us; because that "stuff" sounds like socialism and pacifism).

Posted by rickroot at 8:36 AM | Link | 6 comments