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30 May 2007

I can help YOU get a free nintendo wii!

I got my 4th referral today out of 6 required to get a free nintendo wii from Freepay.

For those of you who don't remember, I've also gotten a free Mac Mini, free ipod, ipod nano, ipod shuffle, and 24" TV/DVD/VCR combo.  Plus some stuff for my friends.

The very next person who signs up and completes an offer will get their referral link placed on my assorted web sites FOR THE ENTIRE SUMMER!

Do it now!  http://gaming.freepay.com/?r=37305874

Posted by rickroot at 11:31 AM | Link | 5 comments
28 May 2007

Boat Update

So, I got my boat back Wednesday from Arnold's Upholstery Shop.  Mr. Arnold completely redid all the vinyl - and added a few parts that weren't there before.  He also refinished the teak, and bolted the driver's seat back into place.

Unfortunately, since I'm the one who took the throttle apart, I was the one to put it back together.  Funny story - I left the bag of parts on the back of the boat and somewhere between the marina and home, it flew off.  Re-assembling the throttle just got a little more difficult!  I did manage to get it into working order after working on it Friday and Saturday, with the help of a few parts from the Home Depot, and one of those locking plastic ties.  It was a little loose, but it worked!

I put the earmuffs on, connected the water and attempted to start the boat..  After some work, I finally got it started, and it seemed to run fine.  That was Friday evening i think.  I tried again Saturday morning and it started right up.  Great!  The guy at Boatworks (who did my winterization) told me I was gonna need a new alternator belt soon, but I figured I could get in some boating this holiday and put on the new belt next week.

Emily and I headed to the lake around noon on Sunday - we went to the Vista Point boat launch at Jordan Lake, as Laurie's boyfriend Charles was camping there with the PWP folks.  Charles has a boat too, and runs an auto repair shop.

To make a long story short, I got it in the water and got it started.  The belt did some squealing, but as usual it eventually quieted down.  I was having some acceleration trouble - it's always had a spot where I'd have to back off the gas a little bit to avoid stalling then throttle up through the spot.. but this time it kept stalling on me.  Eventually I was able to get the boat to plane out, though it took a good 5 minutes to get through that "spot" in the throttle.  Charles suggests that the carberator might be gummed up or something.

We cruised around some, did some swimming, and then headed back to the campsite so Charles and company could grab some lunch.  My other sister Karen and her kids showed up about that time too, and we went back out on the water.  The boat started up just fine again, and we cruised around some.  We stopped at the vista point beach for a few minutes while I talked to Adrienne on the phone.  We decided to head back to the campsite area until Adrienne called from the docs.  The boat started up fine again.  Then I showed Karen how the boat was stalling through the "spot" in the throttle.

And then the boat died.  Click click click.  Boat wouldn't start.  I didn't think it would've been a dead battery, but sure enough, the gauge read 10.5 volts - enough to run the blower, the radio, the bilge pump - but not enough to turn over the engine!

So we called Charles, who came out and towed us back to the dock.  Our day at the lake was done.  Upon further inspection, I noticed the alternate belt had snapped.  No wonder the battery was dying!!

Oh well.  I guess I needed an alternate belt "sooner" rather than "later"!

So after we got the boat home, I charged up the battery and it started just fine again.  Thank goodness!  Charles offered to help me out so I'm gonna take the boat over to his shop this week sometime, and have him put on a new alternator belt and check out the carburator.  We'll have it as good as new in no time.

Probably needs an oil change too.

Ah, the joys of boating!  It's a little frustrating sometimes, owning an older boat, but damn I love being out on the water!  The water was awesome this weekend too... water temp in the low to mid 70s maybe, air temps near 90.  About a billion people on the lake too.

Posted by rickroot at 7:16 PM | Link | 0 comments
22 May 2007

More on the Fairfield/Wyndham Discovery Club

A little birdie told me that you should *NEVER* buy into Fairfield / Wyndham Vacation Resorts without doing their Discover Plan.  Even if you wanted to buy TODAY.

Here's what you do.

When you buy into the Discovery Club (which is essentially a Trial Membership), they give you 300,000 owner points, 12 months to use them, and 2 years to pay for them.  If you convert to a full ownership, you're not responsible for further payments on the discovery club, and every penny (excluding interest) goes towards your downpayment on the full ownership.

Now, what if you wanted to buy today?

Well, you go in and buy into the Discovery Club, make your $100 downpayment to get you into the program.  Then you go back tomorrow or next week or whatever, and convert your trial membership to the full ownership.  They REFUND you the prorated portion of what you've paid so far - AND YOU GET TO KEEP the 300,000 points (with no maintenance fees) under the same plan.. you still have a year to use them.

Chances are good that when you buy, they'll also give you bonus points too.  For example, if you buy 189,000 points, they might give you an additional 189000 bonus points with no maintenance fees to use in the first 2 years.

So if you've bought into the discovery package, you've suddenly got 678,000 points!  The 300,000 discovery points and the 189000 bonus points are essentially free (nothing's free, of course)

so why wouldn't you do the Discovery Club if you were planning to buy anyway?

Posted by rickroot at 8:54 AM | Link | 6 comments

Great Weekend in Williamsburg!

So, we headed up to the Fairfield Williamsburg at Kingsgate Resort in Williamsburg, Virginia this weekend.  Just Emily and I, actually.  The weather was pretty crappy on Friday, so we didn't leave here until around noon.  No sense in getting there too early since checkin wasn't until 4 o'clock anyway.  We drove up through Richmond and then down I-64 into Williamsburg.  We checked in and then headed to our room, Building 13, #101A.

The Kingsgate Resort looks like your average neighborhood of townhomes, for the most part.  The buildings are all 2 and 3 stories, and consist of 1-3 bedroom apartment style condos.  We were actually in a 1 bedroom lockoff in a recently renovated building.  Apparently, the Kingsgate Resort is being remodeled to Fairfield's "Gold Crown" standards.  The room was very nice - for a lockoff.  The kitchenette even had granite countertops!  The resort itself had great amenities.  Two large outdoor pools and a small indoor pool, plus a very nice hot tub outdoors.   There was a BBQ style restaurant onsite, mini golf, a large gameroom and an activities center.  Those things come in handy when you're staying more than 2 nights!

After we checked in, I gave my friend Steve a call.  He lives with his wife in Norfolk, and drove up to join us for dinner.  We went to Uno's Chicago Grille, which was maybe 1/4 from the resort.  It was pretty good, I hate the BBQ shrimp.

Emily and I then headed to the pool for a while before retiring for the night.  Saturday was going to be a big day!

Saturday morning, we headed out around 9am to go to Busch Gardens.  We stopped at McDonald's on the way in for breakfast, and walked through the park gates right around 10am, the official opening of the park.  We went on a few rides and Emily met another little girl named Taylor while waiting in line for one of the kiddie rides.  Emily and Taylor became instant friends, and so Taylor's mother Beth and I decided to let the kids hang out together for a while (apparently, Beth's fiance and sister were off riding the Griffon).  The kids went on a few more rides and then we all went on "The Big Bad Wolf", a full-blown hanging rollercoaster with a nice steep 100' drop.  Rides only had to be 42' tall and both girls were well above it.  Both girls cried at the end too, but Emily said it was fun - though she didn't want to go on it again.  It was definately the biggest rollercoaster she'd ever been on, and the first one with a shoulder bar.  Previously, she'd been on the rollercoasters at Animal Kingdom and Magic Kingdom, but they're pretty tame and only use lap bars.

We parted ways with Taylor and her mother, and Emily and I headed back to the lockers to get her shorts on, drop off anything that we wanted to keep dry, and hit the water rides - Escape from Pompei and the Roman Rapids.  Wow, did we get wet on the latter!

We had lunch and then went on some more rides, but by around 5pm, Emily was worn out and was ready to go back to the hotel, and since we couldn't go on the biggest rollercoasters, we'd pretty much done everything anyway, so we headed back to the resort for dinner and a dip in the pool.

Dinner at the onsite restaurant was less than stellar.  They didn't have a kids menu at all, so I just ordered sides of baked beans and applesauce for Emily.  There were onions in the beans, which she wasn't very happy about.  I ordered a full rack of wet ribs with cole slaw and hush puppies.  I had to chew the meat off the bones, some of the BBQ sauce was still cold (they'd clearly thrown the BBQ sauce on pre-cooked dry ribs)... the cole slaw wasn't very good, and the hush puppies were doughy.  I ate the ribs, some slaw, and some of Emily's beans.  But after we were done, I told the server (we actually sat at the bar) that I wasn't impressed, and the manager was standing next to her while I told her.  He comped the meal and I left the server a suitable tip.  It wasn't her fault the ribs sucked.  The restaurant had apparently only been open a week and they still had some kinks to work out.

The next morning, I attended "the sales pitch."  It wasn't required, but they bribed me with free breakfast and $70 cash.  As a Discovery Club Owner, I didn't have to go through the full 3 hour presentation or whatever it is these days.  I actually sat through a 10 minute presentation by a senior sales representative in a room full of "fixed week owners".. more of a Q&A session where Fairfield is trying to get them to convert to the points system, then I spent about a half hour with the sales rep, whom I actually liked very much.  We didn't like the sales rep we spoke with back in January, so I'm happy to have found someone who can convert our Discovery package to full ownership when it expires in July.  All told, I was in and out in about an hour, with a full stomach and $70 cash in hand.  Can't complain about that.

Emily and I headed over to Water Country USA, and spent about 5 hours there.  They have no height restrictions at all on their rides, though some of the slides required that children under a certain height wear a life jacket or ride with an adult.  That's great, because some water parks simply don't let the younger kids go on the bigger slides.  For example, at Wet-n-Wild Emerald Point in Greensboro, NC, many of the rides are restricted to 45" or even 48".  Emily was scared of the bigger slides at first, but we worked up to them, going on some smaller slides first - and of course she was happy to ride on any slide where she could ride WITH me.  We only went on two slides that she had to go on by herself - the Jet Scream, in which you ride in a single tube, and the Nitro Racer, where you ride laying stomach down on a mat.  That one she didn't like.  Too fast for her!

We headed back to the resort around 3:30 pm (my feet were killing me, walking around barefoot all day!), and Emily and I both took a nap.  We didn't get check out until after 6pm (We didn't actually have to check out until Monday, but I had to work).

It was a great daddy-daughter weekend!

Posted by rickroot at 7:57 AM | Link | 0 comments
17 May 2007

Off to Williamsburg VA this weekend!

Emily and I are having a daddy-daughter weekend.  We're heading out after lunch tomorrow to Williamsburg, Virginia.  I got 3 day passes to Busch Gardens and Water Country USA.  The three day pass actually costs less than two separate days.

Emily is big enough to go on all but the five largest roller coasters.  They actually opened their new drop coaster, The Griffon, earlier this week.  I'm probably not going to get to go on it =)  But we'll have a ton of fun anyway, and we'll have to wait in a lot fewer lines since all the long lines will probably be for those 5 roller coasters.

We're driving up tomorrow where we'll be staying at the Fairfield (Wyndham) Kingsgate Resort.  Probably hook up with friends Steve and Melissa (currently living in Norfolk).  Do Busch Gardens on Saturday and Water Country USA on Sunday (sunny and 83).

Should be fun!

Posted by rickroot at 10:01 PM | Link | 0 comments
16 May 2007

Joel Hurley, Debra LeFave, and the Double Standard

A 28 year old Fayetteville teaching assistant named Joel Hurley was arrested today and charged with numerous felony counts of criminal sexual conduct for having sex with a female student.

Here is a news article about it from WRAL.com.

Right now, the age of the student hasn't been released, but he was an assistant at a junior high school (6th-8th grade).  It will be interesting to see how this case moves forward in wake of the Debra Lefave case, which I blogged about back in November, 2005.

You may remember, Debra LeFave was the hot 20-something teacher who was getting busy with her 13 year old male student.  She ended up making a plea agreement that was so minimal, that the judge refused to allow it because he felt she needed far more punishment.  The DA ended up dropping the case against her.

The double standard comes into play because many people - including myself - would say DAMN!  Lucky kid!  Nobody says that about a teenager girl in the same situation with an adult male teacher though.

Debra Lefave should've gotten serious time, but she didn't.

You can bet, if this guy is convicted, he'll get serious time.

We'll see.


Posted by rickroot at 9:26 PM | Link | 0 comments
11 May 2007

Cool Optical Illusions

My sister sent me some cool optical illusions.  I'm going to put some space between each one so they will appear on the screen by themselves.

Just scroll down to get to them....


Posted by rickroot at 9:58 AM | Link | 3 comments
09 May 2007

Now this is just messed up...

This is TRULY warped.

Posted by rickroot at 2:22 PM | Link | 0 comments

Coney Island Comes to MY House!

I was talking on a message board today about how I'd like to go into the restaurant business, and if I did, I'd open a real Detroit style Coney Island, preferably one just like Uptown Coney Island on Jackson Road in Ann Arbor.  Good cheap food, and the best hot dogs ever.  Coney dogs, to be specific.

Michigan's most popular hot dog restaurants all contain the words "Coney Island" in the name.  The hot dogs are always natural casing beef hot dogs, with a certain kind of chili sauce.  Nobody owns the "rights" to Coney Island restaurants.  Most of them are individually owned, though I did find one company that franchises.   Ann Arbor has 7 or 8 Coney Island restaurants, and they all have different names.

Anyway, the best coney dogs are made with Koegel brand hot dogs from the Koegel Meat Company in Flint, Michigan.  A few years back I tried to find a place where I could buy them online but was unable to find anyplace.

But NO MORE! A place called Bud's Mail Shop sells them in partnership with the Koegel Meat Company.  Just head over to www.koegelmeats.com and order.  It's not inexpensive though.  I ordered 3 3 pound packages (24 dogs each, 72 total) and a 4 pound package of classic Flint coney sauce, and the total cost was $89.99 - which included shipping.

But I'm ready to have a serious cookout!

You want mustard and onions on that, don't you?  You know you do.

Posted by rickroot at 1:57 PM | Link | 1 comment

Funny New Bill Richardson Commercial

Is he overqualified for this job?

Posted by rickroot at 12:39 PM | Link | 0 comments

What's Missing from my 80s Playlist?

So, I've got this 80s playlist that I listen to a lot.  It contains some of my favorite 80s dance tunes.  This list is not meant to be an all encompassing list of great 80s songs.  In otherwords, no hair bands, no regular pop music (you know, Tiffany, Debbie Gibson, and the like)... I guess it's mostly new wave and club music.

What else should go on this playlist?  Sadly, Rhapsody doesn't have "The Politics of Dancing" so don't suggest it.  It'd be on there if they had it!

1. Oh Yeah - Yello
2. Pump Up The Volume - M/A/R/R/S - Colourbox
3. West End Girls - Pet Shop Boys
4. She Blinded Me With Science - Thomas Dolby
5. Don't Go - Yaz
6. Bizarre Love Triangle - New Order
7. What's On Your Mind (Pure Energy) - Information Society
8. Cars - Gary Numan
9. Chains Of Love - Erasure
10. Enjoy The Silence - Depeche Mode
11. Something About You - Level 42
12. I Ran (So Far Away) - A Flock Of Seagulls
13. Somebody's Watching Me - Rockwell
14. Everybody Have Fun Tonight - Wang Chung
15. Obsession - Animotion
16. Word Up - Cameo
17. Super Freak (Part 1) - Rick James
18. Tainted Love / Where Did Our Love Go - Soft Cell
19. It's My Life - Talk Talk
20. Blue Monday - New Order
21. Talk Talk - Talk Talk
22. Don't You Want Me - Human League
23. Our Lips Are Sealed - Go Go's
24. Let It Whip - Dazz Band
25. Freak-A-Zoid - Midnight Star
26. No Parking On The Dance Floor - Midnight Star
27. Rockit - Herbie Hancock
28. You Dropped A Bomb On Me - The Gap Band
29. Weird Science - Oingo Boingo
30. Walk The Dinosaur - Was (Not Was)
31. Friends - Whodini
32. Freaks Come Out At Night - Whodini

Posted by rickroot at 12:36 PM | Link | 1 comment
08 May 2007

Upcoming Trip to Atlantic Beach (North Carolina)

So, Adrienne's folks are coming to visit for a week, and we decided a trip to the ocean was called for.  It's May, so the water may be a bit cold still, but it'll still be enjoyable - and even swimmable for me maybe.  We'll see.

Anyway, we're going to Atlantic Beach, North Carolina.  This will be our second trip to Atlantic Beach, a destination we like because it's easy to get to (only about 3 hours from Raleigh) and we like the Pine Knoll Shores Aquarium, which is just down the road from Atlantic Beach.

Atlantic Beach is just south of "the outer banks" of the North Carolina coast.  The beach actually faces directly south - here's a satellite image.

We'll be spending the night at the Sheraton Atlantic Beach, which looks to be a pretty nice hotel.  It's oceanfront, we'll have an "ocean view" room, they have an indoor and an outdoor pool too, which will be nice to swim in since the ocean water will likely be kinda cold still.  It should be about 70 degrees, while it usually maxes out around 80 degrees in the summer.

One of my favorite things about going to the ocean is FRESH SEAFOOD!  Last time we were in Atlantic Beach, we enjoyed The Channel Marker Restaurant, located at the bridge on the sound side of the island.  It was awesome, to say the least.  Adrienne had what she described as the best crabcakes ever there.  I had some broiled fish platter I think, but what I remember was the crab dip, which was awesome.  They also put crackers on the table with port wine cheese.  Yum.

This time we might try The Sanitary Fish Market in Morehead City.  Numerous people recommended it.  I think it has a funny name.  It's more expensive than The Channel Marker, but looks like it's more of your "classic" southern fried fish restaurant.

The weather looks sketchy - mid 70s, scattered thunderstorms.  I think it depends in part what happens with that big ol' low pressure system hanging off the coast.

Posted by rickroot at 10:42 AM | Link | 0 comments
07 May 2007

Free Wii - Half Way There!

I got another referral for a free nintendo wii a couple days ago.  That means I'm half way there!  I've gotten 3 of the 6 necessary, and I've got about 6 weeks left.


Posted by rickroot at 10:19 AM | Link | 0 comments
06 May 2007

Losing the Training Wheels, Emily learns to ride her bike!

So, we took Emily to the soccer fields today to learn how to ride her bike without training wheels. The nice thing abou the soccer fields is that they're grassy, but the grass is really short, and the ground is pretty hard. Not quite as painful as falling on cement, but easy enough to pedal on.

She's had her little 16" bike for quite a while now. She's not quite big enough for a 20" bike, and we want to get her good at two wheeling before we buy her a nice new 20" bike anyway, so now's the time.

Last weekend, we went for a bike ride on the American Tobacco Trail (a converted rail line, not paved, but the trail consists of screened gravel, so it's a pretty nice surface), and we rode for 3-1/2 miles. Not bad for Emily with her training wheels on, but it's tough! The training wheels really add a lot of drag.

She was pretty excited about going to the park today for practice.

It went really well too. We were there for maybe 40 minutes total, but by the end, I only had to give her a little shove to get her going, and she was riding all the way across the soccer field, and turning, and hitting the brakes to stop. She did awesome!

She did fall a few times. Nothing like I remember doing. I think I was 5 when I got my first bike. Training wheels aren't very useful when you grow up in the country, on a gravel road, with a gravel driveway, and hills in th driveway. I'm sure I started on training wheels but I don't remember them.

I do remember falling off the bike numerous times, getting scrapes on my knees and stuff. We had Emily put on jeans, and she wore knee pads and elbow pads and her helmet.

Posted by rickroot at 11:22 AM | Link | 0 comments
03 May 2007

WakeCares Screws Wake County Schools, Parents, and Voters

In November, 2006, the voters of Wake County, North Carolina, voted on a school bond proposal, which included nearly one billion dollars for schools, and included a controversial provision to convert 22 public schools from a traditional schedule to a year round schedule.

Although the issue and the bond were controversial, the bond still passed with a significant majority.

A very small group of parents concerned only for themselves and their summer vacations, with no regard to the MAJORITY of the families in Wake County, sued the school board.

Wake County Superior Court Judge Howard Manning released his decision today, in which he determined that the year round program violates a 2004 state law saying that schools cannot begin before August 25, and cannot extend past June 10.

This law was never intended to affect year round schools, and Judge Manning foolishly applied it to the year round schools.

Now, with only 2 months until the new school year, the entire county will be cast into chaos, as 20,000 families have no idea what school they'll be attending, and the School Board will have to go through the entire reassignment process *AND* figure out where to put the NET INCREASE of 8000 students in the county schools.

My daughter starts Kindergarten this year, and we *WANTED* her to go to year round schools.  The proposal would've converted our local school - only 1/2 mile from our house - to a year round calendar.  Now, I don't know what we're going to do.  IF they go back to the previous setup, our assigned Year Round school would be Turner Creek Elementary - 8-10 miles from our house.  No big deal, I drive right past it most days on the way to work.

But will we be able to get her into Turner Creek?  God only knows.

To WakeCares and those who support them - thanks a lot.  Don't let democracy get in the way of your summer vacations.


Posted by rickroot at 6:27 PM | Link | 7 comments

I've got a new bike! Sort of ...

Stopped by my dad's house last night to borrow his bicycle.  Back around 1986, he bought a VERY expensive mountain bike - a Specialized Rockhopper.  Probably cost around $500 at the time.  20 years later, it's still in pretty good condition, though I can't seem to get it to go into the lowest 5 speeds (it's a 15 speed, and the chain doesn't want to go onto the smallest of the three front spindles).

At any rate, since I can't seem to walk, jog, or run as exercise anymore due to ongoing foot problems, I guess I'll have to turn to the bike.

The American Tobacco Trail is only a few miles from my house.  The southern end is west of Apex (entrance off New Hill-Olive Chapel Road), and it travels north along the old railroad bed 22 miles to the old durham bulls baseball park in northern durham county.

the nice thing about it is that it's relatively flat.  It is a railroad bed, after all.  It's perfect for biking.  I'm not a fan of hills.  I may make my first trek this weekend.
Posted by rickroot at 8:01 AM | Link | 0 comments
02 May 2007

End User Reporting with Sungard BSR Advance

So, I work for Duke University's Alumni and Development Systems group.  We provide and support technology infrastructure for fundraising across the entire university and health system.  While the Office of Information Technology (OIT) technically manages our mainframe in terms of performing backups, dealing with disaster recovery, etc, we support and train staff to use the systems, and provide customization, integration, and additional tools.

Our base system is an old version of BSR Advance (BSR is now SunGard Higher Education).  It's a mainframe only system for which we developed a windows GUI using ClientBuilder.

Many years ago, we also developed a visual basic application that allowed our development officers to generate reports very easily.  Nothing so complicated as Crystal Reports, where you would have to know things about table structure and field names and the like.  It was essentially a form application in which you entered criteria - mostly through the use of checkboxes - in order to generate a report.  For example, you could get a file drop of all the alumni who graduated from the Engineering School between 1990 and 1999, were active (ie, not deceased or no contact).  Or all the donors who gave at least $1000 to the art museum.

The reports themselves are generated from our reportin database, which one of the programmers on staff wrote a bunch of Cobol / JCL to generate delimited files on a nightly basis, which we import into SQL Server.

Apparently, this is a kind of tool that nobody else has.  My boss says many other universities using the BSR Advance system have "report writers" - staffers whose sole job it is to generate such reports on request, and most of these schools have several of these staffers - 4, 5, or even 6 full time staff dedicated to generating reports.

Thanks to this reporting application, we have one.  The vast majority of the reports that our development officers get are self-generated, and that's really cool.

We're actually in the process of re-inventing this reporting application using Adobe Flex technology and Coldfusion as a backend.  It will actually use the same database that the current Visual Basic application uses.  The advantage of the Flex-based application is that it won't require client installation.  This app gets installed in many departments across the university and health system, and in this day and age, most uses don't have the ability to install software on their desktops, so it becomes a logistical nightmare.  For that reason, we avoid doing releases unless absolutely necessary.  With the Flex app - being web-based - we can fix bugs and add features and have them immediately available to all users, with no new software installation required.

We'll be able to add many new features, too.  I'm actually very excited about it.

Posted by rickroot at 12:39 PM | Link | 0 comments
01 May 2007

33 Reasons Why Being A Man Rocks!

  1. You never have to change your last name.
  2. The garage is all yours.
  3. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
  4. Chocolate is just another snack.
  5. You can be President.
  6. You can never be pregnant.
  7. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park...
  8. ... but you don't HAVE to wear a shirt at all!
  9. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
  10. The world is your urinal.
  11. Wrinkles add character.
  12. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
  13. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
  14. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
  15. Your underwear is $4.95 for a three-pack.
  16. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
  17. One mood all the time.
  18. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
  19. A five-day vacation requires only one small suitcase or a duffle bag.
  20. You can open all your own jars.
  21. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
  22. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
  23. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
  24. Even if you could, you wouldn't care.
  25. Everything on your face stays its original color.
  26. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
  27. You only have to shave your face and neck.
  28. You can play with toys all your life.
  29. Your belly usually hides your big hips.
  30. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
  31. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
  32. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
  33. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
Posted by rickroot at 11:09 AM | Link | 2 comments

Tired of conflicting nutritional news?

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

  1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
  2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
  3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
  4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
  5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

Eat and drink what you like.

Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Posted by rickroot at 7:39 AM | Link | 4 comments