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01 May 2007

33 Reasons Why Being A Man Rocks!

  1. You never have to change your last name.
  2. The garage is all yours.
  3. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
  4. Chocolate is just another snack.
  5. You can be President.
  6. You can never be pregnant.
  7. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park...
  8. ... but you don't HAVE to wear a shirt at all!
  9. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
  10. The world is your urinal.
  11. Wrinkles add character.
  12. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
  13. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
  14. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
  15. Your underwear is $4.95 for a three-pack.
  16. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
  17. One mood all the time.
  18. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
  19. A five-day vacation requires only one small suitcase or a duffle bag.
  20. You can open all your own jars.
  21. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
  22. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
  23. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
  24. Even if you could, you wouldn't care.
  25. Everything on your face stays its original color.
  26. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
  27. You only have to shave your face and neck.
  28. You can play with toys all your life.
  29. Your belly usually hides your big hips.
  30. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
  31. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
  32. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
  33. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
Posted by rickroot at 11:09 AM | Link | 2 comments

Tired of conflicting nutritional news?

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

  1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
  2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
  3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
  4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
  5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

Eat and drink what you like.

Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Posted by rickroot at 7:39 AM | Link | 4 comments